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It's over ... so now what?

If you've been visiting this blog o' mine, waiting for updates that never come, you may (or may not, quite possibly) know that I've spent the last two years undertaking coursework to earn my Pennsylvania teaching certification (grades 7-12, English) and a Masters degree in Secondary Education. There were many reasons for me to do this: a heightened awareness of educational development in students, better teaching methods, refinement in my lesson planning. Those are the altruistic ones. I also considered the joys of deferring all of those student loans that have weighed on my back for years, as well as the possibility of one day reaching a semi-respectable pay grade. The months seemed to plod along like a mule through thickened mud, but at 12:03 am on Tuesday morning, I posted my final paper for a course entitled "Promoting Collaboration, Community and ..." ... ... ... okay, so I don't remember the title. I remember it being loads of hard work, especially for some loquacious as me to write papers no longer than three pages. So, it's done, finished, kaput, ended, finalised, over. The question is, so what do I do now?

The altruistic points are covered: I apply everything I've learnt in these last two years of study to my teaching, making sure that my students know that I wasn't just bluffing when I stood in front of them on that first day. I can also spend a good deal of time thinking about the ways in which I'd like to teach, versus the ways in which that content is best presented to the age group I'm addressing. But the selfish, more personal ones have been bothering me of late, as well as the one lingering regret I have about my life so far. Okay, one of the TWO lingering regrets.

I want to finish my doctorate.

Dagnabbit, I want to be Dr. Spangler! I really, really do! I used to write that on my scratch paper in the Bodleian library when I'd be there researching. Dr. Spangler, over and over again. I wondered how soon it would take me to latch on to the perfect chapter, the perfect mini theme, the perfect thesis. It never came. Five years later, and it never came. I packed my bags and went home weeping. I've had three years to think about that time now. I've come to the realisation that I threw it away for the time being, not for good.

The question is, do I continue to put regret number two--not yet having a family of my own--on hold whilst I reach for that goal?

I wish I knew. Sadly, the answers to the universe are never found in the books sitting on one's shelf. Nor are the found in the professor's comments at the end of one's penultimate paper.

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
(Anonymous)
Aug. 19th, 2010 08:55 pm (UTC)
Hi Kristen, Jomo here. I thought u were single? Whose the man in your life? Go for a family.
lazuliangel
Aug. 20th, 2010 12:11 am (UTC)
Alas, I am!
I am still single. Nothing's changed there.
(Anonymous)
Aug. 20th, 2010 01:38 pm (UTC)
Re: Alas, I am!
Go 4 the falimy. That cud motavate u to do good in ur wurk (sory about bad english). Jomo.
(Anonymous)
Aug. 21st, 2010 05:16 pm (UTC)
Re: Alas, I am!
How u goin 2 have a babies if u are silgen? Jomo.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )